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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Power of Paint art project.....

This was an old piece of barnwood my daughter brought home
 from her Papaw's house one weekend.  I used an old atlas for the petals,
beads and wire for the center, white washed the background, and added
 paint squares.... whaaa laaaa... something from nothing!!
 Just throw some paint on it!

New York we come.....

We will be leaving on Friday morning and we are SO excited! This Mississippi
girl hasn't been to many BIG I am sure that I will be wide-eyed as
I take it all in.  It will be especially exciting because I will be with my daughter
and my sister! I can't wait to add photos for you guys! Praying that my RA
will take a rest and that I will be able to keep up with them as we tour. ;)

Monday, May 21, 2012

Today has been a rough one......

the sun is shining and I don't think bad weather is lurking around
the corner.... it is just a bad PAIN day with the RA.  The energy
that this disease takes from me is unbearable at times, I'm not sure
which I hate worse on these days...the NO energy or the SEVERE
 pain. So my usually sunshiny disposition is lost somewhere
between "I had 4 cross orders I wanted to work on.." , "I really
want to finish that canvas I started...", "Am I ever going to get the
art journal posted..."...... Being still for me has always been
a difficult task, but THE POSITIVE.... I CAN... I AM ABLE
P.J.'s ALL DAY, I CAN! The best thing this NEW SEASON
has taught that I am not like a healthy 43 year old
woman, and my body needs a break often.  TO take those
breaks is THE best way to care for myself and for my family
because it keeps me from being down for 3 or 4 days in a row
after pushing myself over my body's limit! Growing each day!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

"We go through what we go through, to help others go through what we went through."

The List......................

Each new day is bringing with it another reason to
enjoy this season in my life.  My hubby and I
always make "the good/the bad" lists when facing
 hard decisions or things in our lives that can't be
changed.  He knows how very literal and visual I am...
and this is a way that I can see on black and white
 the GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY all at the
same time. Each time we go through trials or changes
 or have to make a big life-changing decision, he
always says..."It's going to be alright baby! God's
 got this too....He has NEVER let us down." I have
 such a strong faith, yet I am the one who is
ALWAYS the doubter or the one fretting!

As I sat playing bunco with the girls last night....
I began thinking about our "list" and the
"GOOD" side got another item added.When I was
working, my RA had gotten so bad that all I COULD or
WANTED to do was come home and crawl in the bed as
 soon as I entered the door after school. TODAY I had
 two things on my calendar.... a senior brunch for
 a sweet friend of the family and bunco.  I know that my
 body can not do speak with my daughter
and decide to take her friend out next week.....
I went and rolled the dice for 3 hours. I enjoyed every
 laugh, conversation, every smile on each face.....
I soaked them up! After being in solitary confinement
 for 3 months (had to stay home due
 to white blood count being 2.5...or wear a mask
 if I left home...NOT REALLY IN PRISON..
.but home bound) I spend more time making sure
 to recognize and savor the things around me that
God has blessed us with, things like being able to
watch my friends just being silly~ these things I will
now etch in my memory .....and count it all  a blessing!!
I was taking all of the "little" things God has blessed us
 with.....SO MANY ...and just taking them..... for granted!
I am thankful for each and every moment that He sends
 a blessing through the chirp of a bird, the soft touch of
my kittens tail on my skin, the "name that tune" games
I play with my husband, the texts from my children....
I could go and on.....even thanking Him for sending me
home at this time..... because the list of "GOOD"
 reasons from this long-term disability retirement
 is outweighing  the "BAD".....HE IS MIGHTY INDEED!!

 "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."
 Exodus 14:14

"The LORD your God is with you, e is mighty to save.
 He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with his love,
 He will rejoice over you with singing."
 Zephaniah 3:17

Friday, May 18, 2012

Look at my baby's smile......Frappe!

I've been getting folders organized on my desktop
in order to start the task of updating my scrapbooks
over the coming years.  LOOK at this sweet smile I
found this morning.  Now that I have been home
from work, due to my RA becoming so aggressive,
he and I have become best of friends.  I NEVER
knew you could love a puppy so very much!! I'm
so glad we adopted him two summers ago,,,, I
am not sure how I would have made it through
these tough months without his sweet smile
and his companionship! He is AWESOME! 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

On a rollercoaster ride.....steroids....oyyyy

YES.....I'm feeling the "ROID" rage these days!
I've been on so many steroids over these past
4 months that I have become an emotional
rollercoaster and feel like a hot air balloon.  OH
LORD HELP ME! We will be leaving for New York City
in 9 days..... and I am hoping to be good to go!
The steroids are like oil for my joints....but they
cause such burned skin and emotional RIDES
that I want to be off of them by the time we fly out.
If you follow my blog and are a prayer warrior,
please pray that God will calm this storm if only
for the trip, so I can enjoy time with my daughter
and sister in NYC.  A BUCKET LIST ITEM!

Monday, May 14, 2012

This week's agenda.....

.........remembering to look at things in a NEW LIGHT!
Learning to cooperate with my body and not fight against
the RA when it is so aggressive.  It has taken a long time
to learn how to that!! Each day brings a new challenge...
with or without RA...for me, I can't make "permanent" plans
because I am not sure how my body will react upon waking
up. BUT at least I am waking up!! AT LEAST I have the
choice to rest and recoop my body for days that I CAN
do things that I love to do and need to do.  So the list on
the bar grows on days like these....but I am happy because
I can look at THE LIST and see things were marked off
Each new day comes .....and that is something to be
GRATEFUL for....learning perspective sure changes things!

Friday, May 11, 2012

totally standing on the promises of God.....

Psalm 31:24 
Be strong and take heart, 
all you who hope in the LORD.

Today my hands are so swollen and I can't lift
my arms due to the tendon that has been 
eaten away by the Rheumatoid Arthritis.
There is now a tear in my tendons on both
shoulders that causes the flare up to 
worsen, which means the tendon now
becomes inflamed (not just the synovial fluid)
now that the RA has eaten at it....our
next step will be shoulder surgery.  I am 
firmly believing that my Father is in the 
miracle working business and am praying 
for remission.  Please join with me in this
prayer and also in the prayer to develop
a cure for this chronic crippling disease that
so MANY know so LITTLE about.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Spoon Theory.... daily choices .....

 I got up this morning and thought about
 MY SPOONS…. It has been raining here 
and very gloomy.  My hips and feet 
haven’t cooperated well… I’ve been 
doing some crafting in my room.  I got 
on facebook to check on my new friends 
on the RA pages I follow.  A sweet new 
friend, with two small children, is going 
through the SAME confusion I remember 
walking in when I was diagnosed with RA 
after the birth of my first child 21 years ago.  
AND PLAY with my babies like I want to…
DAYS. First I want to thank RAGuy ( 
for sharing this. Due to my RA becoming 
so aggressive this year,  I was again 
walking in that same confusion and fear 
after I had to retire early when I began 
following a few RA pages on facebook.  It was
 so neat to be with people who UNDERSTAND 
this disease and it’s limitation.  When he 
posted the “Spoon Theory” link, I read it 
and sent it to my best friend and my 
husband because it explained my daily 
struggle so very well. It really helped them 
understand the daily internal battle I 
have over decisions that others don’t even 
think about.  He has also published a book 
of RA hands and stories….very inspiring website.
     The  Spoon Theory is about difference in
 the daily options that "healthy" people have 
from the moment they wake up compared 
to those of us with a chronic auto-immune 
diseaseEach “move or choice”  we make, 
we must consider the “energy” or “spoons” 
used to make that “move or choice”.  We also 
have to keep the side effects from the 
chemo infusion treatments and other meds, 
which can hit whenever they decide to
in mind.  The hardest thing is wanting to 
go and do all of the things you 
WANT to do….but NOT being able to do 
them because it will put you in bed for 
two or three days AFTER you PUSH yourself 
to do it.  The let down on your family 
and friends’ faces because they think you 
are just being lazy or are not very consistent.  
In order for others NOT to feel this way about 
me…. I pushed for YEARS and am now on 
disability retirement at age 43.  I wish I’d 
read this SPOON THEORY years 
ago….it would have helped me explain to 
my close friends and family the struggle I
have when trying to meet everyone’s 
needs (including my own) in a better way.
  I would not have struggled so hard 
to PUSH myself beyond the SPOONS I had 
available for the day.  I hope this helps others 
who are walking in these very SAME shoes. 
 Let your friends and family read it so 
that they too can understand that 
a “little decision” for them is 
not so LITTLE  for you.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Sunshine inside ....

Cute project find at getting some
good ideas for this new season.... ready to get busy SOON!

Monday, May 7, 2012

It is raining outside....but.....

.....I am learning that, through the pain, the sun can be shining in ME!

It has been quite a rough weekend.  My RA has flared up and I've
had to use my cane.... for so long, I thought using it was a sign
of weakness! OH how wrong I had been.  It takes a lot of pride
swallowing to be 43 and using a cane.  THAT IS STRENGTH.
Each day I am learning more and more how God's hand has
led me to this quiet place of rest and restoration- body and soul.
Today I am thanking Him for the storms...because He is growing
me with every drop that falls...every painful moment has led
me to a NEW SEASON in MY STORY.... and MY STORY
is valuable, important and matters.  My prayer is that I can
encourage others who travel this CURVY road of Rheumatoid.
I am more than this disease...I HAVE IT... it DOES NOT have me!!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Haven't posted in a few days... we've had a sick kitten.

Tinkerbell is feeling I am hoping to get to the next 
Faith Book post soon.  Senior cross orders are coming in
so I've been tending to Tinker and making crosses.  Ready 
 for a little CREATE time.